Lately, a lot of people have asked me what homeschool is like. I want to explain what we do, how we make it work.
First, let me state that many days I want to quit and send them to private school. Well, we can't afford that, and on good days I am thankful.
My only problems with homeschooling have been my two younger children. You can't really read history or keep anyone's attention when the toddler is throwing a tantrum and the baby wants milk and a diaper change and cuddles...oh, and good luck holding a teacher's manual with two little ones grabbing at it and trying to turn pages. That is my main struggle. I really like homeschooling, I've said that before, but it's not easy. The big problem I see in the world of homeschooling moms is that
we lie. No one wants to say to another mom who seems to have it together, "I skipped school yesterday because I couldn't figure out how to get the older kids to pay attention and keep the younger ones happy." You want to be great at all of it. The only place pushing yourself that hard gets you is frustrated and wanting to quit.
I've gotten to a point where I've realize how legalistic I've been in the past, and I've changed. The kids haven't changed. I even had another baby. Which just makes me have to stretch even further. But it's better! I used to have a set time to start, and I'd be very upset if we didn't start on time. I had some silly idea that we should start at the same time the kids at "real school" did.
The problem with that sort of idea is that homeschool is NOTHING like sending your kids off in the morning. My kids have chores. They have to be bathed, dressed, fed, disciplined, then do their chores. Even if we get up at 7 am on the dot every morning, it could be nine or ten before all that is done. Yep, they're home all day and are expected to help. I have told them their behavior and how well they help around the house is a part of school. It's a very important part! They need to know how to work and be responsible, or they're never going to learn to be responsible with their studies. We've struggled with this, like with everything else, and after 4 years we finally have some semblance of a game plan. I didn't realize this at first and tried to do it all myself. Now, my eight year old gets all the books we need for the day, sharpens pencils, and pulls the notebooks they'll need. I can get some dishes done or feed and change the baby while he's doing that.
The best way to approach teaching responsibility is to trick them. YEP! That's what I said. They need to believe that you're giving them an awesome new responsibility. I start every new thing with a question, "How would you like to start doing _______? I think you're about old enough." It works with all of them! They aren't pleased about doing extra things every day, but most days. MOST DAYS, note that. Most is not all. There are always and will always be days of complete chaos. What the homeschooling mother needs to do is stop, breathe, and be sweet. Move on and repeat. There is no perfect homechool. There is no ideal to attain. That's the hardest thing to learn, I swear.
Then, if you figure all that out (which you will eventuall if you don't give up!), you have to choose curriculum. I'll go over that in another post someday. Let's say you've got that picture perfect curriculum and you're ready to go.
Do you think your kids want to stop building forts and come sit down for school? Not always. But if you keep at it, and keep a happy attitude while teaching, they'll beg for more. I remember working in the "real world" and I did things I didn't want to do every day, but I needed to do them. It seemed easier than my job of homeschooling because...well, I got paid! Homeschooling often feels like a hassle...some days I just want to take a nap. The same thing happens if you're not homeschooling, and just stay home with the kids. I've found it's helpful to do a subject or two, then release the kids to go play or do art, and I do something small I want to do. Read for ten minutes. Pray. Play with the little ones. Watch the news. Something! I took to loading everyone up when I got really frustrated and getting Starbucks. It's a break. TAKE BREAKS. School takes much longer when you're frustrated. No one listens to a huffy mama. Did you ever like a mean teacher in school? Did you really care about listening to him/her? I didn't, and I know my kids don't want a mean teacher. I don't want to be a mean teacher. If you realize you're getting mean, stop. TAKE BREAKS. I can't stress that enough. I still sometimes don't realize it, and have to remind myself.
We usually start the school day with some reading. Aesop's Fables, poems, history, science...something they like. Or, I let the kids pick. It doesn't matter what order you do subjects in. I learned that the hard way, too. These curriculums out there with schedules just make you all the more silly and frustrated.
I often have to redirect the kids and ask for their attention back. My sister in law told me about a woman she used to know who would whisper when she was upset, and I try to be very calm. Try, not always succeed. I'm far from the best homeschooler out there, but we're doing ok. The kids are exceedingly my expectations. They are learning a lot!
Then, I pray. And I pray. And I beg God to just build a free, private, Christian school
next door. Haha.
Pray. It's the only way to get anywhere, as in all things.
Why haven't I quit? I read a blog post recently by another mum and she said it is the difference between reacting, and making a decision. If I just reacted, and let my negative reaction continue, my kids wouldn't be homeschooled. I would be more harried than I am (scary!). If we ever put our children in a private/public school, it won't be because homeschooling was too hard or we hated it. I would rather make a decision then lose something beautiful because of an emotional reaction.
So how do you homeschool?
I'm still trying to figure that one out, honestly.
