I was going to write a very long blog post about Orthodoxy. Then I realized I can sum it up in a few paragraphs (not Orthodoxy, but my present thought).
I know very little about Orthodoxy. However, while barely scratching the surface I still feel able to defend what I believe. And to stand up for it's merit. I've never felt that before. The closest I got was being Anglican, and that time was chock-full of questions and doubts as well.
When I became Anglican, I starting to feel like I was occasionally able to hit the nail on the head about whole Christ is and what a Christian is and what the Church is and where I enter into all that. I didn't have something ancient to rely on. I had the shaky "because I really believe it in my heart!" to depend on. Folks, I haven't seen half the ugliness that can come "from the heart" that I'm sure some of you out there have, but I can say the human heart is a tricky place. Without God, it's a nightmare.
Even the things I knew have been clarified. I never understood the depth of the baptism of the Lord, and why it is so important. I know now, just from attending services during Theophany. No one pointed anything out to me. You can't miss it. If you miss it, your eyes are closed and your ears are covered! You can't be present in an Orthodox church and not learn. I feel like a toddler, saying, "What's that? What's that?"
And guess what, reader? When I find an answer, it's not, "Well, we do this because about fifty years ago we didn't like what so and so was doing or saying and now we do this...to combat what we disagreed with."
I'm ecstatic like a really annoying, over zealous convert. Unless you read this blog, you won't have to be subjected to it, though, I assure you. I'm quiet in person. Before wine.
30 January 2010
29 January 2010
Ice, baby.
Today in Memphis there is a bout of freezing rain, and sleet. I haven't seen the sleet but it has rained a little bit. All the schools are closed. Everyone is worried about groceries and extra propane heaters. It's 32 degrees, folks. The low is only 25.
I recall sitting, hopefully watching the news ticker in elementary school and hoping school would be off. School closings weren't often, even when you already had several feet of snow on the ground. I remember wearing snow pants and all the snow gear you can think of for the walk to school most mornings, after school was, as usual, open. There could be five feet of snow, and drifts much taller than my nine years, and school would go on. We'd build igloos and forts and snowmen on the playground at recess.
After living in the south for 4 years, snow is but a fond memory. We have an inch dusting here and there, and then of course the dreaded ice. I think about the way up North we would be a half mile off on the soccer field digging under drifts of snow...it's amazing no kid ever had the snow collapse on them and trap them. We'd get a group of kids together and roll colossal snow balls, and pile them on top of each other, then climb on them and jump off into drifts. And we weren't scared. We knew snow like that, it was like a part of our genes to understand it. You learned early how to dig out of a collapsed drift. Our families were hardy, red-cheeked...heck, frostbite was a byword. The boat welders in the factory north of my small hometown welded on, my dad and uncles and every other grown man I was aware of worked without ceasing at the Redman homes plant at the south end, no matter the weather.
I'm not trying to say at all that the South is full of ineffectuals that can't handle a little snow and ice. I really enjoy the South, and it's culture. It's manners, it's food, it's art, it's music...there is no denying it is unique and special in it's own right.
It is that ingrained culture, the same sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another that makes me smirk when going out in the "worst storm of the winter" is forbidden here. It's the culture of the north that is in my bones, it is every learned behavior I am speaking of, and the knowledge of it leaves me unable to concede that it's winter here. This is not the winter I was taught to respect because of it's mightiness. Winter weather in the north took over your life, shaped the way you lived for half of the year.
The ice is the terrible thing here. There is no snow to pack, so the ice takes over and it's largely invisible.
I think what I dislike about winter here is that it is sneaky, and subtle, but it still chills you to the bone.
I saw a sled for sale in the hardware store we pick up goat feed at, and pointed it out to the kids...they weren't quite sure what it was.
I recall sitting, hopefully watching the news ticker in elementary school and hoping school would be off. School closings weren't often, even when you already had several feet of snow on the ground. I remember wearing snow pants and all the snow gear you can think of for the walk to school most mornings, after school was, as usual, open. There could be five feet of snow, and drifts much taller than my nine years, and school would go on. We'd build igloos and forts and snowmen on the playground at recess.
After living in the south for 4 years, snow is but a fond memory. We have an inch dusting here and there, and then of course the dreaded ice. I think about the way up North we would be a half mile off on the soccer field digging under drifts of snow...it's amazing no kid ever had the snow collapse on them and trap them. We'd get a group of kids together and roll colossal snow balls, and pile them on top of each other, then climb on them and jump off into drifts. And we weren't scared. We knew snow like that, it was like a part of our genes to understand it. You learned early how to dig out of a collapsed drift. Our families were hardy, red-cheeked...heck, frostbite was a byword. The boat welders in the factory north of my small hometown welded on, my dad and uncles and every other grown man I was aware of worked without ceasing at the Redman homes plant at the south end, no matter the weather.
I'm not trying to say at all that the South is full of ineffectuals that can't handle a little snow and ice. I really enjoy the South, and it's culture. It's manners, it's food, it's art, it's music...there is no denying it is unique and special in it's own right.
It is that ingrained culture, the same sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another that makes me smirk when going out in the "worst storm of the winter" is forbidden here. It's the culture of the north that is in my bones, it is every learned behavior I am speaking of, and the knowledge of it leaves me unable to concede that it's winter here. This is not the winter I was taught to respect because of it's mightiness. Winter weather in the north took over your life, shaped the way you lived for half of the year.
The ice is the terrible thing here. There is no snow to pack, so the ice takes over and it's largely invisible.
I think what I dislike about winter here is that it is sneaky, and subtle, but it still chills you to the bone.
I saw a sled for sale in the hardware store we pick up goat feed at, and pointed it out to the kids...they weren't quite sure what it was.
22 January 2010
lovely
Found these images of some Orthodox church/monastery buildings when I was discussing with my eight-year-old son what a monk is. They are beautiful!20 January 2010
counsel
Our country is covered with the ice of materialism and of atheism, and we are all called to take part in their defeat. Only when this ice dissipates will we be able to find and enjoy once again that true earth which the apostolic ploughs cultivated, and which the blood of martyrs and the sweat of monastic Saints watered. Only then will the noetic sun warm the Greek soil, which will immediately sprout forth flowers in bloom and bear fruit, as before, to the glory of God.
-from Precious Vessels of the Holy Spirit, spec. the Counsels of Elder Amphilochios of Patmos
The book notes that noetic is a Greek word referring to man's intellect. The intellectual and ascetic depths of Orthodoxy are wonderful.
-from Precious Vessels of the Holy Spirit, spec. the Counsels of Elder Amphilochios of Patmos
The book notes that noetic is a Greek word referring to man's intellect. The intellectual and ascetic depths of Orthodoxy are wonderful.
16 January 2010
15 January 2010
The bigger, better deal
Many people I know are looking for the bigger, better deal. I am not sure what gives one contentment in life, I haven't completely found it yet myself. I am content with many things, my children, my husband, my stay-at-homeness (finally!), homeschooling...I've come to terms with the fact that my house will not be clean as I want it or organized as I want it, and am trying not to let that drive me insane. Who I am is not who I ever daydreamed I would be....
....I'm ok with that.
It's gotten to the point where I wonder what I should be thinking about the future. I start to lean toward contentment, rather than things new and supposedly exciting, which are also risky and alter what I have now. I don't think God wants us to look at what we have each morning and daydream the afternoon away thinking about what we could have. There aren't many could haves that remain lucrative to me. They aren't worth it, they don't necessarily lead to contentment, to the terrible and merciful God who is ever more evident in my sight. Is this some feeling that comes with age, but I've hit it early? That sounds arrogant and absurd, but, there it is.
Maybe it's a spiritual issue. I am realizing I don't have to be at 100% to be a Christian. In fact, I'm still a Christian when I'm at -0 because God is who he says he is. He is I AM. He forgives and as the Creator He sees that negative before I see it, before I even imagine it, and already He waits for my repentance. I wait for mercy, mostly, but sometimes even for judgement. I feel particularly strong, as if I am saying, "Come what may." (knock on wood!) I don't plan on abandoning ship. Even if the big modern picture of Christianity looks like a sinking ship.
A blog I read now and then says, "Go, warn your children of the terrible speed of mercy." It is a quote from a novel by Flannery O'Connor, referencing Revelations 8 (correct me if I'm wrong) where the altar, traditionally the place of God's mercy, ironically becomes the very source of divine judgment. This is very intriguing to me, and I think about it a lot.
I don't know where this post is going. Makes my blog into a journal?
Goodnight.
....I'm ok with that.
It's gotten to the point where I wonder what I should be thinking about the future. I start to lean toward contentment, rather than things new and supposedly exciting, which are also risky and alter what I have now. I don't think God wants us to look at what we have each morning and daydream the afternoon away thinking about what we could have. There aren't many could haves that remain lucrative to me. They aren't worth it, they don't necessarily lead to contentment, to the terrible and merciful God who is ever more evident in my sight. Is this some feeling that comes with age, but I've hit it early? That sounds arrogant and absurd, but, there it is.
Maybe it's a spiritual issue. I am realizing I don't have to be at 100% to be a Christian. In fact, I'm still a Christian when I'm at -0 because God is who he says he is. He is I AM. He forgives and as the Creator He sees that negative before I see it, before I even imagine it, and already He waits for my repentance. I wait for mercy, mostly, but sometimes even for judgement. I feel particularly strong, as if I am saying, "Come what may." (knock on wood!) I don't plan on abandoning ship. Even if the big modern picture of Christianity looks like a sinking ship.
A blog I read now and then says, "Go, warn your children of the terrible speed of mercy." It is a quote from a novel by Flannery O'Connor, referencing Revelations 8 (correct me if I'm wrong) where the altar, traditionally the place of God's mercy, ironically becomes the very source of divine judgment. This is very intriguing to me, and I think about it a lot.
I don't know where this post is going. Makes my blog into a journal?
Goodnight.
from here
"We are living through another week in which natural disaster provokes many to say, “Where is God?” Of course, many who will now ask, “Where is God?” said nothing the week before when Haitian children were dying of a hosts of curable and treatable illnesses and circumstances."
Exactly my thoughts.
"We are living through another week in which natural disaster provokes many to say, “Where is God?” Of course, many who will now ask, “Where is God?” said nothing the week before when Haitian children were dying of a hosts of curable and treatable illnesses and circumstances."
Exactly my thoughts.
04 January 2010
02 January 2010
Fr. Stephen Freeman has posted another wisdom-filled blog...below is an excerpt that particularly struck me. As follows...
Our modern culture, driven by varying market models, tends to teach us that everyone must have a job or a career in order to be “fulfilled.” Human beings are all too easily defined by their place within the economy. The same psychology is often carried over into the Church with people thinking of their place within the Church as defined by “what they do.” In such a context, “my ministry,” is an important question to people. The weakness of this question is its tendency to transform the Church from the “Ark of Salvation” to the “Spiritual Manufacturing Center.”
Our modern culture, driven by varying market models, tends to teach us that everyone must have a job or a career in order to be “fulfilled.” Human beings are all too easily defined by their place within the economy. The same psychology is often carried over into the Church with people thinking of their place within the Church as defined by “what they do.” In such a context, “my ministry,” is an important question to people. The weakness of this question is its tendency to transform the Church from the “Ark of Salvation” to the “Spiritual Manufacturing Center.”
The past decade...and the future one.
In this recently passed decade, many memorable and life changing event occurred in my life.
I left home, started working, bought a car, had my first beer. 2003
I got married to a wonderful man, my beloved husband and the unreplacable father of my children. 2005
I became a stepmother, and that word is too empty to describe the joy. 2005
I started homeschooling. Never learned more in my life. 2005-?
My son and daughter were born. They are most precious to me. 2007 and 2009.
I don't have any real regrets. Some fleeting ones, but nothing lasting.
Bring it on, 2010. What will the New Year bring? Another child? Going back to college? Who knows....
Glory to God in all things!
I left home, started working, bought a car, had my first beer. 2003
I got married to a wonderful man, my beloved husband and the unreplacable father of my children. 2005
I became a stepmother, and that word is too empty to describe the joy. 2005
I started homeschooling. Never learned more in my life. 2005-?
My son and daughter were born. They are most precious to me. 2007 and 2009.
I don't have any real regrets. Some fleeting ones, but nothing lasting.
Bring it on, 2010. What will the New Year bring? Another child? Going back to college? Who knows....
Glory to God in all things!
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