The True Story of Cinco De Mayo

My father in law, in blogdom Kvetch, sent me a pretty funny email this morning:

Hellmann's Mayonnaise - a bit of history.

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jarsof the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York . The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as...

Sinko De Mayo

My reply:

You might also have heard that the French had promised the Mexicans the mayonnaise would arrive, and when it did not, they knew the French must have had a hand in the Titanic sinking -just to spite the Mexicans- and declared war. Since they were fighting for their beloved mayonnaise, they fought long and hard. Of course, they won. The story we know of the war in history was obviously written by the French, who instinctively knew how important mayonnaise would later be to the American superpower, and God forbid the truth got out.

This coincides in your version because I also heard they declared the national day of mourning, though it was also a reminder: each time the Mexicans go to war, they remember the Great Sinko De Mayo and fight bravely and with great heart. Have you ever heard anyone say Mexican people are weak? Nope. They are historically a tough people, driven to lengths of perseverance by the injustice done against them by the French.

I'd like to also point out this wikipedia version:

The Battle of Puebla was important for at least two reasons. First, although considerably outnumbered, the Mexicans defeated a much better-equipped French army. "This battle was significant in that the 4,000 Mexican soldiers were greatly outnumbered by the well-equipped French army of 8,000 that had not been defeated for almost 50 years." Second, it was significant because since the Battle of Puebla no country in the Americas has been invaded by a European military force.

Obviously, this is the French version I was talking about. The Mexican version (which you can find in rare, old texts hidden away in Mexican archives) reads this way:

The Battle of Puebla was important for at least two reasons. First, although considerably outnumbered, the Mexicans, enraged over the recent devastating loss of mayonnaise, defeated a much better-equipped French army. "This battle was significant in that the 4,000 Mexican soldiers were greatly outnumbered by the well-equipped French army of 8,000 that had not been defeated for almost 50 years." Also, the French were not strengthened as the mayonnaise-consuming Mexicans were. The French who surrendered were taken to secret POM (Prisoner Over Mayonnaise) camps, where they were forced to manufacture mayonnaise in copious quantities. Second, the battle was significant because since the Battle of Puebla no country in the Americas has been invaded by a European military force. (Here you see how fearful the whole of Europe has become after hearing about the passion Americans have for mayonnaise. They know if they invaded, the Mexicans-still upset over Sinko De Mayo- and the Americans would defeat them, in smaller numbers but by overwhelming force, without question.) The Mexicans cleverly introduced the deadly addictive mayonnaise to the United States, chiefly to secure an ally in any future invasion.