head covering

Recently, I heard a young woman around my age, who is a catechumen, addressing the why of head coverings. She said, "I don't really know why I do it." It made me really want to write a blog post addressing that why, since I write much better than I speak.

The next day, my daughter Bethany was fetching her scarf before church and stopped to ask me, "I like this scarf, but why do we wear it again?" I must note it is/was completely her choice to cover her head, and I hesitated at first to let her, but then after talking to a few people wiser than me, gave in. I was sure she only wanted to cover her head because I was, and I didn't know if that was a good reason to. So I talked with her, and explained what it meant to for a woman to cover her head, and why I do. I was advised to let her start now if she likes, and then it won't be a strange thing to do when she grows up. After she recently asked again why we wear them, I asked her what she remembered. She replied, "I think we do it to remember to pray." She is six, so I nodded and let it go at that.

I have not always covered my head. In fact, I'd never done it until we started visiting an Orthodox church. That's only been about six months. I've always had it in the back of my head that I'd like to, but had never been around other women who did. I didn't fully understand it, either. My husband has wanted me to wear a covering for a long time, but to be quite honest, I thought he was crazy or joking. I also had many older women telling me it was not something anyone needed to do, for any reason. It was an archaic notion and degrading to women, I was told.

Then I would read in 1 Corinthians 11: "For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels." I didn't fully understand this either. I'd heard too much feminist, non-denominational jargon to know what to do with the idea of covering my head, especially when the word authority was thrown into it. In this day, the cultural ethics insist that I am equal to a man, practically interchangable, under no authority. I was taught women are equals to men also as Christian persons, in no way inferior. I didn't want to be less important to God! So I ignored it, choosing pridefulness and selfishness.

We bounced around in all sorts of churches, and in one Methodist church we saw a whole family who covered their heads. The mother, the teenage girls, the tiny girls. It was beautiful. I still didn't see it as a necessity. I would attribute this to my lack of knowledge, my lack of spirituality, and my lack of confidence.

At my relatives OCA church, where I had been for baptisms and to visit with my sister in law, I knew some women covered their heads. But in my memory, I only thought of the older Russian women with their heads covered. They were faithful and pious...I was not.

Our first visit to St. John (Antiochian) left me wondering again. There were several young women who covered their heads, one of the priest's wives, some of the choir members as well. I began to research, no longer happy with not understanding this practice. More than anything, I wanted to know why. What spiritual reason was there for covering my head? What did it mean? Was it something really important I was missing?

I began reading. I went back to Corinthians. Here is the passage in it's entirety, for reference:

3Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved. 6If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. 7A man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.
11In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. 13Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, 15but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. 16If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God.

The presence of angels was undeniable in Orthodox worship. Finally, I could not deny or ignore any longer the recognition in my heart that I must cover my head. I told my husband and he was at first shocked, because I had been so against it, then rejoiced. I asked the priest his blessing, and his only advisement was, "It is a good and pious thing to do, and you may if you think you should, but above all do not judge anyone who doesn't." In Corinthians, it clearly says that wearing a head covering is not a requirement. I had not thought ill of women who did not cover their heads, but the reminder to keep from pridefulness in my decision was very good.

Why do I cover my head? Here are the things that come readily to mind:

1. the presence of angels. We worship in the company of heavenly beings. Many Fathers and Saints of the church spoke of the presence of angels and the importance of that presence.

2. my place. I am a woman. In the Lord, I am not independant of man. I was created from man, and I have been given the great honor of bearing man. I have chosen to physically recognize that difference. Does this mean I am lesser than my husband? No. It means that I believe that God created me, and I submit to how He created me. He created me under the authority of God, Christ, the angels, the church, and my husband. It is because GOD says I am to be a woman, an Orthodox, a mother, and a wife. I am a sinner, and always need reminded that I cannot survive alone, on my own merits.

3. the greatest female example, the Theotokos, covered her head. If you're Orthodox, reader, enough said.

4. submitting myself to the authority of Christ, to the authority of the Church. Let it be unto me according to Your word. If someone asked me what women in our generation (in all generations?) need to do, I'd say first and foremost we must submit ourselves to the Church.

5. Remember what my daughter said? In her innocence, in her unknowing, "...to remind us to pray." Yep, wearing a head covering reminds me where I am, and who I am with. I am before the altar of God, and there, truly, is His Body, broken. There, truly, is His Blood. There are angels present, the Cherubim and the Seraphim, and the Most Holy Mother of God, and the Saints.

The first place I covered my head was at home during prayers. The kids laughed at Mama dressing up. Then, I started wearing a head covering to church. I felt conspicuous at first, now I feel natural. It's not about how it looks, what other people think of me, or how my hair is getting messed up. I've thought those things, of course, but with God's help most of the time I push those thoughts aside. The few times I've forgotten my scarf, I felt disgraceful. I was ashamed that I couldn't do even this one small thing I had strived to do in submission to God.

If you happen to be more interested, or want to read a better written "Why I wear a headcovering" account, this article from OCIC titled, On Account of the Angels, has a lot more information. It was helpful when I was seeking. I don't entirely agree with everything said there, but most of it.

I hope that writing this will help someone. I pray that I could give voice to why I wear a head covering next time, instead of retreating to blogdom to address it. I still don't know if it should be discussed around the table, or only with one's spiritual father. I'm not at all the person to know that, since I just started wearing a head covering. Ask me in 40 years or so. Forgive me!

Glory to God in all things!