I do not have an affinity for the emotive things of the world. Probably, it's a failing of mine. Personally, I find emotional bursts to be, generally, a waste of time and effort. The one time I've cried wholeheartedly and with abandon in my life was when my first baby was born. That, however, wasn't just an emotional experience. It was a physical acknowledgement of a life- altering experience.
One place that I have never been able to see as a place for emotive reaction is in worship of God. I've felt awkward and displaced in many worship services. Seeking God has been a journey from denomination to denomination searching for Him. In that time I experienced many different styles of worship in many different kinds of churches. House church, Baptist, non-denominational, Methodist, Presbyterian, Episcopal, etc...they all had one thing in common in my observance: emotions were often more evident than a true worship of God. And God was too often the sweet Jesus who died for !you and me! and was there whenever and wherever YOU needed him. Feeling down? He's there for you, like an instant hot cereal to feed you and warm you when you're too lazy to go through the steps to boil the water, stir the oats, and fight to keep the heat low enough so it doesn't burn but still cooks...
I felt sure I believed in this Christ, and that I could know Him, but there was a separation between those things that I didn't understand and couldn't begin to assimilate.
I know now that one of the biggest problems confronting me was the separation of Christ, and the Church. After learning more about catholic faith, I understood this problematic divide to be a huge stumbling block. Overcoming it, and realizing that Christ IS the Church, and the Church is the Body of Christ has brought about a cataclysm in my faith.
Growing up, Jesus was presented to me as a situational ideal, which I saw used for personal comfort and gain only when all else was exhausted. The first place to turn in crisis was not to God. However, protective angels were nice, sweet baby Jesus was nice, the cross was sad but there were many sad things in humanity's past. God was not together with Christ, but instead some odd historical factor. I had no concept of the Holy Spirit at all.
The Orthodox church is, to me, swollen with stability and wisdom. There is an authority that realigns and defines within the Church, which has been as stable and wise for over 1500 years. Whatever inner uneasiness existed about the Christian life and what is it, what it means, what it will be, is dispelled through the liturgy. The Orthodox Church speaks through the Saints, Fathers, through the priesthood, through Christ's words and the Apostle's teachings...with surety and beauty that impresses and humbles.
I think I have found the true worship of the triune God, a worship from the heart. This is not worship driven by emotion, but instead something that overcomes emotion and trains it to be obedient and selfless.
When I heard said that Orthodoxy is the fullness of the faith, I was intrigued. Seeking her myself, I see the Church is full, a Body that is alive and speaks the Truth.
One place that I have never been able to see as a place for emotive reaction is in worship of God. I've felt awkward and displaced in many worship services. Seeking God has been a journey from denomination to denomination searching for Him. In that time I experienced many different styles of worship in many different kinds of churches. House church, Baptist, non-denominational, Methodist, Presbyterian, Episcopal, etc...they all had one thing in common in my observance: emotions were often more evident than a true worship of God. And God was too often the sweet Jesus who died for !you and me! and was there whenever and wherever YOU needed him. Feeling down? He's there for you, like an instant hot cereal to feed you and warm you when you're too lazy to go through the steps to boil the water, stir the oats, and fight to keep the heat low enough so it doesn't burn but still cooks...
I felt sure I believed in this Christ, and that I could know Him, but there was a separation between those things that I didn't understand and couldn't begin to assimilate.
I know now that one of the biggest problems confronting me was the separation of Christ, and the Church. After learning more about catholic faith, I understood this problematic divide to be a huge stumbling block. Overcoming it, and realizing that Christ IS the Church, and the Church is the Body of Christ has brought about a cataclysm in my faith.
Growing up, Jesus was presented to me as a situational ideal, which I saw used for personal comfort and gain only when all else was exhausted. The first place to turn in crisis was not to God. However, protective angels were nice, sweet baby Jesus was nice, the cross was sad but there were many sad things in humanity's past. God was not together with Christ, but instead some odd historical factor. I had no concept of the Holy Spirit at all.
The Orthodox church is, to me, swollen with stability and wisdom. There is an authority that realigns and defines within the Church, which has been as stable and wise for over 1500 years. Whatever inner uneasiness existed about the Christian life and what is it, what it means, what it will be, is dispelled through the liturgy. The Orthodox Church speaks through the Saints, Fathers, through the priesthood, through Christ's words and the Apostle's teachings...with surety and beauty that impresses and humbles.
I think I have found the true worship of the triune God, a worship from the heart. This is not worship driven by emotion, but instead something that overcomes emotion and trains it to be obedient and selfless.
When I heard said that Orthodoxy is the fullness of the faith, I was intrigued. Seeking her myself, I see the Church is full, a Body that is alive and speaks the Truth.
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