american idol.

I don't ever want to be famous. I've come to that conclusion.

I want to die without having done anything "cool" in the eyes of the world. I really would be content to be the named on an old, worn gravestone that someone dusts off someday and doesn't recognize at all. I just want to be buried on a hill in Ohio out in the country miles from everything. I want to be forgotten, someday, because I know I was not made to be exalted.

Before I got married or had children, I had many silly dreams. I was going to be this or that. But I never had a deep need to be on a stage or to be somebody. I have come to hate the fact that every silly dream a youth has is encouraged in our society. You can do it! You're awesome! You're something special! I detest this propaganda. If you can shake your behind and sing like a wounded buffalo, you're famous. It isn't that hard nowadays. It helps that everyone is a winner (and woe if you are not!), everyone can be famous. Reach for the stars, right? It seems to be taught (brainwashed?) that you should just Be Who You Are! Don't Change For Anyone Or Anything! There doesn't seem to be a consideration of growth being good. If you're 30 and still act like a juvenile, it's more power to you. If you're an idiot, but say something arrogant once in a while, you're suddenly a genius!

It doesn't matter anymore where you come from or what your family is like. Ancestry is lost. Who are we- if we have no past, and want to believe we can live our entire lives in the present?

American idols are no longer hard working folks with talent that wrought their own way. It's every other angsty teenager who sings about their broken heart. I do not ascribe to the idea that great art comes from broken-heartedness. The human heart is so much stronger than that. What I can understand is a broken spirit, and spirit is much harder to regain than another person's love. Emotion is not talent. Let's get that straight. If talent comes from a broken and contrite spirit, it comes with a whole lotta heart to back it up. The two are not exclusive. When we celebrate them exclusively, we celebrate nonsense.

I might just be bitter because I haven't been one of the few (many?) who have been destined to a life of greatness.

Nah.

I couldn't be me, if I was Somebody Who Is Everybody.