Reward system

I absolutely sound like a fussy home schooler complaining about public education in the last few posts. I am just frustrated, forgive me. My kids could be in a much worse school system. In fact, there are schools down the street that are part of the city instead of the county system here that make most parents rejoice if their kids are in a county school. As I've said before, the county schools here and the one my kids are currently attending are very good. 


Here is an argument, less than a complaint: Why must elementary age children be constantly rewarded? I feel like my kids are learning that even minimum effort will be rewarded, and so they are working less hard. They have figured out the system. I didn't constantly reward them...their reward was an education. Their reward was new knowledge, a new book maybe. Now, especially because they are both above grade level, they do next to nothing and get parties and candy and toy prizes. I don't understand this system of rewarding to motivate. What happens when children grow up, and realize that adulthood, marriage, parenting, faith, and many other grown-up things have no rewards? Or, not the "prize" type of reward, anyway. What reality is this teaching? 


I read a post by Juliana over at Metanoia, and I think she's on to something, and it's partly what I am getting at with this argument against rewarding every tiny thing. She wrote:

"I have been thinking about how people (especially those in affluent countries) avoid pain at all costs. The moment one has a headache, some pill is taken (even if it’s an over-the-counter medication). We really cannot even tolerate any discomfort. We cannot stand to be too warm, too cool or hungry for any length of time (the candy bar must be had because we can’t possibly wait a couple more hours for dinner). I know someone who has a remote control for his car so that he can start his vehicle from inside his home and turn on the air conditioning/heat so that it’s a comfortable temperature when he gets in the car to leave. It makes me wonder how palatable Orthodoxy is to Americans or anyone from an affluent country. Can Orthodoxy grow here? How can Americans be asked to go without certain foods for half of the year? Can a culture that avoids pain at all costs embrace a faith that asks them to deny themselves anything?"


It is precisely this concept of avoidance of any pain that I am talking about, whether it's physical pain or mental anguish. We don't want anyone to feel that they are not comfortable. Getting bad grades in school? Not doing your schoolwork? That's A-OK! Just show a tiny bit of effort and you'll be having pizza and candy and extra play time. This is a distortion of love, and a lie to ourselves and our children. It is also sad to acclimate to, and then to realize that there is no easy path to knowledge, whether educational or spiritual. One small victory often leads to an even bigger struggle than before. I understand, sometimes, that this is the nature of a life following Christ. Yet, reward systems are in place that teach a love of the golden calf where gratification is found even in selfishness and that reward is always comfortable and instant. 


Of course, I just read Narnia again and I am reminded here that God's love is beyond our understanding. Aslan is the representation of Christ, and while he is revered and his abundant love is known by all who love him, they constantly remind each other, "He is not a tame lion." We are not necessarily rewarded in a fun way for our faith. Anyone that isn't lying about their piety cannot say martydom is the reward they seek.