Two years is such a short time.

My son is two tomorrow. My firstborn, my delightful boy. He is truly a blessing- I believe with my whole being (however much that comprises) that God gave him to me. I would whisper against his forehead every night when he was falling asleep, up until the time he was around a year, "Thank you, Lord, for this child." I still do, but Elijah's own prayer of "Dank joo Sheshus" is more than sufficent. I was broken hearted after he was born and I realized I did had not done anything for the Lord that could be counted in return for what He had given me in my own son. I've learned more in the last two years than in any other time of my life, and I've never been more thankful, and never felt a greater need for God's guidance.

Elijah's first two years have been the best two years. He's recently a big brother, and in that he amazes me as well. God has given him a countenance beyond what I hoped for. He's happy, tough, and loving. He is very excited about turning two, mostly because he was promised those wooden swords, an axe, and a shield. And cake. The boy can eat.

I cannot wait to teach him to read.

Before bed I was laying beside Eli and we had this jolly conversation:
"Do you know you'll be two tomorrow?"
"Yeah?"
"Yes, two years old!"
(he here held up one finger from each hand and laughed) "Two!"

He thought for a moment and then asked me, "Sword?"
I had showed him what we were ordering for him earlier in the month.
"Yes, you can have your sword."
"Shield?"
"Yes, that too."
"Oh! ....Axe?"
"Yep!"
"Oh, oh! ...ball?"
"No, we didn't get you a ball."
"No ball?"
"No, not this time."
"Ball?"
"No ball."
"....Football?"
"No."
".....no sword?"
"We got you a sword."
"Ok. No ball?"
"No!"
"No football?"
"No football."
"Watch football?"
"It's not Buckeyes season."
"Oh! Sword, shield, axe?"
"Yes, those."
"Good! Cake?"
"Yes, we can bake a little cake."
"Little? No big?"
"No, just a small one."
"Ok. Sword, shield, axe, big cake?"
"Sword, shield, axe, little cake."
"Oh...big ca-"
"Go to sleep!"
"Sword?"
"Yes!"
"Two?"
"Yes!"
"Shield?"
"Goodnight!"

Who can understand it?

From an experience lately, I took a second look at my children. I looked at them and loved them because they most of the time show me respect. They listen most of the time when I speak. They love their mother and father, and their siblings. They have just met some new friends who astounded me with their behavior and attitude towards their parents and any sort of rule. Now, I must add that these are the type of children that spend more of their time in front of a television (and yes, they have full cable channels in their bedrooms on their own televisions) than in any other way. They did not seem to understand when my children suggested imaginative play, and hadn't heard of the books my children are so interested in reenacting when they play. In fact, there weren't books in their household that I noticed. Unless you count the self help manuals laying around with the stacks of DVDs.

Lord, have mercy. I'm saddened at the disrespect they showed their parents. The children were the rulers of the household, by tantrums, demands, and know-it-all remarks that it makes me cringe to hear from a child. Why would you want your children that spending more time trying to manipulate you then they spend being children? What a miserable existance. By "being children" I mean playing, reading, dressing up, and most important: sitting quietly and listening, learning. My daughter is loud by nature, and too inquisitive to control herself at times, but for the most part she understands she is a child, and does not masquerade as Caesar. We've had countless instances where our children act like kids and overstep their bounds, but they meet swift correction. We're not the best parents, not the smartest parents all the time. But by and large, we're a happy family and enjoy being together. I couldn't stand my children if we had allowed them to let their sin nature run away with them. Children need guidance and they require a lot of one on one time. It's exhausting, it's frustrating, it gets old--but there is joy when they choose right. When they do not speak ill of their mother to friends. When they stop and consider right and wrong before they act.

I don't know what is happening that children are being raised in such a way. Have children become another thing that keeps adults from their busy fast paced lives? Put it in its room with the television on and go have your time? Stuff them with fast food and send them off to fight it out in the bedroom? How will they learn how to be good people, strong people, people that I would like to see raising the next generation?

Children are not a commoditity. They're not something cute to have around. They are sons and daughters of God, they are human and difficult. Children are also blessings given to us by the Most High. Why would anyone want to squander that?

Wooden toys update

We recieved the package from rentoys.com, and I have nothing but good things to say. The swords are nicely made, lightweight, the axe is quite lovely and also light, and the shield is plenty small enough for my son to run around with. They're almost as light as the plastic toys he's had, but unpainted pine, obviously hand sanded...lovely toys.

I have a feeling my heart will be glad to see him playing with hand-made toys instead of plastic junk. And these should definitely last longer! He's rough on his things. Like a good boy should be.

Education at the kitchen table

"What was it that Mary said in response to the announcement?" I hear my husband asking.

"And why did she answer in thst way?"

And something happens, their faces light with understanding, and an answer is given that you can't believe these little children are able to perceive... Then you realize that you have taught them something that is going to form the rest of their lives. Forget carrying them in your womb, forget giving birth to them. They don't remember that, but these things we're teaching them around the kitchen table, these are the things that will shape their decisions, birth their futures, and bring forth in them what is great and good.

Homeschooling isn't always easy, or fun. A parent has to find how their child learns, and what they are interested in learning, and recognize when they just want to go be kids. But when it clicks, when you find the right way to speak and the words to use...you're suddenly not only a parent but a teacher. Even if you know very little on the grand scale, you know everything to your kids. Wow, Mom, you're smart! It makes me laugh when they say things like that. And laughter is what makes a household.

We started out homeschooling not knowing what the heck we were doing, or how to do it, or really what it meant. We're grown a lot since then, and even in the hardest moments we've begun to realize that this is something special. I can't imagine not being the one to teach my children to read, showing them the depths of history, the complexity and simplicity of numbers, the beauty of God's Word. It gets you when you share something with them that if they were away in school you might not have them there to turn to and explain to. Then, when they come running to you to share something they think they've just discovered and want to return the favor, you're floored. We're teaching more than math and reading, without intentionally doing so, while teaching math and reading!

Homeschooling is more than just teaching your children at home. In teaching them, you learn more about yourself, about your failings, and your successes. Somehow you end up relearning a few things, and you learn them with a deeper understanding. You learn the understanding of a child, something that is pure because is not not tainted with worldliness. Children are fascinated by everything new, excited about everything they grasp, and they fail very well, able to get back on the horse and try again with open eyes and open hearts.

I don't know if we'll homeschool through twelfth grade. I don't love it every day. But I thank God for this opportunity, for these children, and for His guidance when my husband and I teach them. May they not stray from it.

For my youngest son's birthday, we've ordered some hand made wooden toys from here: http://www.rentoys.com/aboutus.html. Our little man is a warrior enthusiast, obsessed with knives, swords, axes, shields, etc. I found this family while hunting for a place to get him something durable. I've exchanged emails with the family and they seem a good sort.

I'll post on the quality of the toys when we recieve them.